I was offered an apple that someone didn't want. It had been in the fridge, so it was cold.

Too cold for biting.

I held it for a second, then someone said something about the apple, and my co-worker Kim popped up out of her seat and yelled, 'Who got apples?!'

Kim is a grown up version of that kid in elementary school that asked you for things inappropriately. Like you'd bring your gameboy in, and they'd say, 'Oh cool, can I have it?' And you'd stare at them for a moment, not believing that they are serious, and then telling them no, but somehow they have made you feel guilty for not giving them your main Christmas gift.

Yeah, that's Kim, only in the real world.

Now I wanted to cut it. I wanted to put a little peanut butter on it. I had big plans for this apple.

Instead, Kim and I locked eyes, and I bit hard into the entirely too cold apple.